My mum is driving me insane. It’s true. I love her but today, she’s driving me nuts.
You see I’m about to decorate my room (with some help from her), which means moving almost everything out in order to do so. However she does not understand. I have suffered from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) for a fair chunk of my life. Luckily, I with the power of logic and a lot of hard work have managed to overcome most of the life altering (read: life ruining) things. Which for me is one of my biggest achievements, even if it was really hard emotional work.
I promise, one day I’ll sit and write a blog to explain more about OCD, as I know it’s very hard for people who have never had it to understand but I have to vent this now. Before I blow my top and cry.
I could never work out (and neither could by parents) why I hated my room being tidied, why I hated that my mum would move stuff around. It wasn’t until I realised what my OCD was doing to other areas of my life that I looked back at huge tantrums I would throw as a child when my stuff was moved – which, wasn’t very like me at all. I never threw tantrums about anything else. I just found it so upsetting.
I realised, I hated it because I thought everything had to be in it’s place, even if that looked untidy – because if it wasn’t bad things would happen to me. And my unsuspecting mum was making bad stuff happen by moving my stuff. Of course she didn’t understand – heck, I didn’t understand.
Alas, I have another battle on my hands – for whilst I don’t really believe anything bad will happen if I move stuff – or my mum moves my stuff. This is a lot of stuff to be moving – the most stuff that’s been moved in years in one go. And it’s really stressing me out.
Please, for crying out loud don’t anyone ever treat me to a room or house makeover cus you won’t like my reaction!
So, now I’ve written this out – I know it sounds stupid, don’t mock me. I know it’s funny. I even laugh at myself at times – it’s totally illogical.
Into battle I go…